East coast vs. West coast: Burgers

I feel like there's always a rivalry between the east and west coasts, so I'm going to face off two iconic, most-celebrated burger places from each coast--Shake Shack and In-N-Out--to see which coast has the best burger.

Variety
I'm going to have to give this to Shake Shack. In-N-Out basically has one kind of burger, but the variation aspect is pretty much in the number of patties and slices of cheese you choose to order (you can order a 50x50--50 patties and 50 slices of cheese, which is hilarious). They do have a "secret menu," where you have the option to make either your burger or fries "animal style" (their signature pickle-thousand island dressing spread with caramelized onions), but that's pretty much it, and you don't have a ton of options. Shake Shack, though, has a pretty extensive menu, with five distinctly different burgers (depending on the location), five kinds of hot dogs, and various milkshakes and ice creams.

The Downtown Butter Brown Concrete from Shake Shack

Quality
I'm giving this category to In-N-Out. Although Shake Shack has more ambitious menu options (like a bacon burger), most of them are not particularly well executed. When I came here a couple months ago (you can read that post here) I got the Shack Stack, which has a fried mushroom, and it was really greasy and airy, and had absolutely no mushroom flavor! For the ridiculous amount of money you're paying for one burger (which I will describe in the next section), the mediocre product is very disappointing. And while In-N-Out has very simple menu items, it's all very well done. You get a really satisfying, flavorful burger, with really fresh lettuce and tomatoes. Oh, and that's another thing. Because the east coast's produce is awful during the winter (which spans for about six months), you might get brown lettuce and anemic tomatoes in your burger.

Animal fries (without spread) from In-N-Out

Price
For this category, I'm going to compare the most popular items from each menu, in a burger-fries-milkshake combination, which is pretty common. Shake Shack's most-ordered burger, the Shack Stack, is $8.85. One milkshake is $5.00 (depending on the flavor/variety, it can cost up to $6.75), and an order of plain fries is $2.70. In-N-Out is so much cheaper. I'm not sure how much a single double-double burger and order of animal fries cost (prices aren't listed on their website), but according to a receipt I fished out of the bin, together they're $5.67 with tax. According to Yelp menus, a milkshake is around $2 (let's be overly generous and say it's $2.50). Shake Shack's total is $16.55 (after tax that would be just over $18); In-N-Out's total is $8.17 (keep in mind that both burgers are pretty much the same size). That's just a ridiculous difference, and I really don't think Shake Shack is even close to being almost three times as good as In-N-Out. So for value, I'm going to give it to In-N-Out, obviously.

Cheese fries from Shake Shack

The wait
If you go to Shake Shack at a definite mealtime, you're lining up for a good half hour just to order, and then there's a 10-15 minute wait for food. Unless you're going with a friend who you haven't seen in a really long time and need to catch up on a lot of stuff, the wait is absolutely awful. I've seen some people spend the entire wait making out and making everyone else uncomfortable, so if your significant other is into that, your wait might not be so bad. At In-N-Out, the wait is relatively long for fast food, but it's nowhere close to being 45 minutes (15 minutes, tops). In-N-Out wins, again.

The winner
Considering price and quality (the wait is just a bonus), In-N-Out wins! It's not the most unique burger ever, but it's a cheap, well-done, satisfying burger. And although Shake Shack has good variety, what good is it to have a big menu if most of the things are overpriced and just okay? This is conclusive evidence that the west coast is better.

Shake Shack
http://www.shakeshack.com/

In-N-Out
http://www.in-n-out.com/

Minetta Tavern

I've been waiting for the longest time to try one of Minetta Tavern's famous burgers. It was incredibly hard to get a reservation here; I called two weeks ahead, and all they had left was 5:30pm and 10:30pm. If you want to eat here, be determined and plan early.

My first course was the scallop risotto--it's a daily special, so ask if they have it. It's a lemon risotto with pea puree and a giant scallop on top. The scallop was just amazing. Really nice sear, semi-translucent center, and so juicy. It was just incredible. The risotto itself was so nice; it was rich, but with the lemon, it wasn't cloying. I find that a lot of risottos are so heavily laden with cheese and cream, that you get full really fast--I tend to feel a little sick, too. However, this risotto was exactly what it should be--an appetizer; it made you want to eat more. My problem with this dish was the tangle of raw leaves and vines; I had to dig through them to find my food.

My main course was the famous Black Label Burger: dry-aged beef with caramelized onions. The effect of dry aging is that the meat becomes very tender, but at the same time it develops a gamey flavor. It's hard to describe gaminess, but it's a kind of deepness; it's in game meats like venison. Anyway, the burger is really good; it's simple, but the point of it is to enjoy the quality beef. It also comes with fries. I'm never particularly thrilled with any restaurant's fries, but these were really good. So crispy, and so non-greasy.

For dessert, we got chocolate souffle to share. I've found that hardly any restaurants make proper souffles anymore; usually they'll call it a "fallen souffle" just to sound chic and like they know what they're doing, and end up giving you a flourless chocolate cake, because they don't know how to make a souffle. I feel like Minetta Tavern's version falls somewhere in the middle. The top of it, and the crusty edges, are so nice and light and not overly sweet. But once you get inside the ramekin, the souffle is way too dense and moist, and the chocolate flavor is so overwhelming. I choked a little on the powdered sugar, too.

Minetta Tavern has some great food; the burger is definitely great, as is the scallop risotto. I'm iffy about the dessert, though. I'm not sure if it's quite worth the money, because it is quite a lot ($70 for the risotto, burger, half the souffle, tax, and 20% tip). I would recommend coming here for a special occasion with someone who is excessively generous and loves you very much.

Minetta Tavern
113 MacDougal St., at Minetta Lane
http://www.minettatavernny.com/

Shake Shack

Shake Shack is one of those hyper-touristy places that people will wait hours in line for. I've heard many, many people say that it's even better than In-N-Out on the west coast, which is a lofty statement and, if it were true, would make Shake Shack a damn good burger place.

I got the Shack Stack, which seems to be the favorite. It's a cheeseburger with a cheese-filled fried portobello mushroom. But I have to say, it sounds a lot better than it tastes. A portobello mushroom is so delicate in both flavor and texture, the fried batter and the cheese completely overwhelm it. And you will find that, when you bite into it, the fried shell houses mostly air, because a portobello mushroom is not substantial enough to hold its shape when cooked. It's a nice, ambitious idea, but the execution was pretty disappointing. The burger itself was really nothing special. The patty was dry, and the bun was ordinary at best.

I also tried the Downtown Butter Brown Concrete--frozen vanilla custard (aka. glorified ice cream) with streusel pieces mixed in. I liked it a lot, but it can get a bit sweet. Drink lots of water.

The cheese fries were pretty mediocre--plain crinkle-cut fries with not enough fake cheese sauce. Honestly, they were pretty comparable to McDonald's fries. I'm not quite American enough to have tried aerosol cheese, but I imagine the cheese sauce is what it would taste like. Really not worth $4.

There's definitely a reason why west coast people get really defensive of In-N-Out when east coast people say Shake Shack is better--because it's not. Considering both taste and price, I'm not sure why people worship Shake Shack so much. You can get much juicier and flavorful burgers for a shorter wait at a number of places in New York. And if you were to get a burger, fries, and milkshake--a pretty common combination--you would easily spend over $20. Shake Shack is probably best reserved for tourists who want to say they've been to so-and-so place in New York, but definitely not worth your time or money if you just want something to eat.

Shake Shack
http://www.shakeshack.com/
Various locations